Cinnamon February 2012
Good evening, beautiful Cinnamon. As we approach you’re 14th birthday tomorrow, January 9, 2013, the world remains the same gray, foreboding place it has been since June 4th, 2012 when your form and those of the family that loves you, stopped sharing the same small and blessed portion of the universe.
How could such a beautiful, loving and devoted being, and spirit, be struck down so cruelly by the demon that is cancer? How could a creature so strong that she survived and flourished in spite of two back surgeries, have this terrible scourge visited upon her?
As you know, Cookie, we talk, and scream, and write to you every day. Your entire family, because that’s what we are and will always be, your right out-of-the-box forever family, would not have made it this far with even a tiny bit of sanity remaining were it not for sites like Rainbow Bridge, Pet Loss, Dog Quotations and Critters. We found a sense of community, Cinnie, and it’s a village that stretches all around the world, among other folks who love and miss their beloved, departed family members as we miss, and love, and grieve for you. And in the Dachshundlove blogspot.com, ‘The Long and Short of It All’, we found others who shared love of and appreciation for Dachshunds. They know all about you, Cinnamon, but that’s a story for another day.
I will, beautiful Cinnamon, recreate the hand-written letter . . . the seven pages that we read to you, during your last weekend at home with us; and the 8th page written after your passing that we shared with you posthumously at your beautiful ceremony on June 7th . . . on this memorial site a few days from now, but everything I said in the letter will hold true forever. We were forever blessed to have shared any part of life with you, let alone almost 13 ½ years. And it was, is and will always be an honor and privilege to count you among the souls that we’ve traveled through life with. You are simply the most beautiful, devoted, compassionate, loving and courageous being we have ever known, and we will love and cherish you always.
We will build, and tend to and nourish this memorial to you with love and tenderness, Cinnamon, that I promise you. And one day, on that blessed day when we finally get to feel your velvet fur, and savor your sweet kisses, and see that incredible look of unconditional love in your eyes once again, we will never be apart from that moment on.
I promised you, Cookie, that I would fill your Christmas stocking this year full of ‘love’ and I did. And I promised you that I would find a way to set this memorial up in time for your first Rainbow Bridge birthday party. I will never get over losing you, Cinnamon, but that’s as it should and will always be. As your ‘biological’ mother Melanie frequently said about you, “Cinnamon is going to live forever, right?” And so you do, sweet girl. And so you always will. In the hearts, and thoughts, and dreams of your family, Cinnamon Precious Costa can and will live forever.
Beautiful & Brave Cinnamon, Christmas 2011 - RP
Pookie, It's February 3rd, 2014, and this is the first time I'm adding something to the first page of your memorial. I found a poem on the memorial of your beloved angel pal Bear Giebner, that his Mom had left for him, and I just had to leave it for you someplace here.
I know what you're thinking, I DO owe you a special page devoted just to the poems I have read, and treasure, that remind me of you, and I promise I will create and finish such a page. You are an amazing and smart & caring girl, so I know you know already the reason I'm leaving this poem here for you.
Thank you, Bear, for being a forever angel friend to my beloved Cinnamon, and for being the beautiful spirit who is loved and cherished to this day, and who inspired your Mom to leave the gift of this poem with you on your beautiful memorial. And so, my beloved Cookie, the poem 'Should You Go First' . . .
Should You Go First
Should you go first and I remain
To walk the road alone,
I'll live in memories'garden
With happy days we've known.
In spring I'll wait for roses red,
When faded, the lilacs blue,
In early fall when brown leaves fall,
I'll catch a glimpse of you.
Should you go first and I remain,
For battles to be fought,
Each thing you've touched along the way,
Will be a hollowed spot.
I'll hear the bark, I'll see your smile,
Though blindly I may grope,
The memory of your helping paws
Will buoy me on with hope.
Should you go first and I remain
One thing I'll have to do,
Walk slowly down that long path,
For soon I'll follow you.
I want to know each step you take
So I may take the same,
For someday down that lonely road
You'll hear me call your name.