Creating memorials in loving memory of our pets...

  
Memorial created 10-23-2007 by
Dori and Anthony
Brandi
August 21 1995 - August 11 2007

Our Baby

I can't believe it's going to be 3 months soon that I haven't seen you, felt you or kissed you. I miss you so much, it physically hurts me. You were such a huge part of me that no one could ever understand. For almost 12 years, it was always "Baby and Mommy" - through thick and thin and many life changes. Now I don't have you to come home to at night or wake up to in the morning. Nothing is the same, and nothing ever will be again. Instead of things feeling better for me, I feel worse. Because, the more time that passes, the more I miss you and the longer it's been since I felt you, saw you or smelled you. Daddy picks me up at night, and I still always look for your big furry head looking for me out the window. But, it never appears... During the night, we listen for you to get up and drink your water and then come into the bedroom. But, we don't hear anything. In the morning, you used to take your morning ride with Daddy to the park (then with Mommy towards the end). But, each morning comes and goes, and it's just as empty as the one before. Nothing... I long to turn back time and make things better - make you, the love of my life, better. But, I know it was never in my hands. That's what makes it more hurtful - that there was truly nothing we could have done to save the one who saved both of us. We miss you so much. Mere words can never express just how much...

 

November 21, 2007 Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. As usual, I will make some food to bring to your Grandma's house. But, the difference is that you won't be laying by my feet in the kitchen waiting for some food to fall or for a plate to lick. There will only be silence. I know I said it before, but it doesn't seem real that you aren't here with us. I long for you every day and night. I want to kiss you good morning (and get my morning kiss from you), feed your favorite carrots to you, make burgers on the bbq your favorite) for you, tuck you in for your naps and tuck you in again at night and give you belly kisses, kiss your beautiful head and give you butt rubs. As soon as I tuck you in and get into bed, you would get up, shake and nest for about two minutes straight. So, I would get up and tuck you in all over again, because I always wanted you to be cozy and snug. I really miss that, Peanut. I miss hearing you snore and having puppy mares. No one knows how much I miss you. I think about you all day and everyday. I wish I could wake up one morning and have this all be a horrible nightmare and have you lick my face so I can take you to the park and see your friends. I love you, Peanut. Tomorrow, on Thanksgiving, what I will most thankful for is having you in my life to take care of me and to love me so unconditionally and purely. I only wish it could have been longer... Always remember that Momma loves you - and so does your Dad. XOXO

 

December 13, 2007 Peanut, it is snowing today. They expect a Noreaster by the weekend. As much as the cold bothered your aching joints in the past few years, you still loved to step out into the snow and take walks with your Mama in the park. The park was so quiet on days like this. I would bundle you up in your fleece sweater and then your overcoat (Grandpa called it your army jacket). Then, off, we would go! Anyone we would run into would say how cute you looked in your coat - a Pitbull in a red coat! I still have your coats (and always will). Your precious hairs are all over both of them. That is the only physical reminder I have of you, and that breaks my heart. It was 4 months the other day - 4 months since you left me. I think about you all the time, wonder if you forgive me for letting you down, wonder if you are warm enough, have enough pillows, are being kissed enough and have your favorite jazz station on. I would do anything to see you and touch you again. You were my heart and soul, and I have been empty without you. No one can truly understand how I feel. So, I keep my feelings to myself and only tell Daddy. He misses you something awful. He is used to spending the winters with you. It was always Baby and Daddy - either going for the ride of all rides or napping in the afternoons together. Now, the house is empty. What a void and loss your leaving has left. We miss you so much, Peanut - so much...

 

January 2, 2008 I hurt so much and miss you so much. No one knows how I feel or how much I miss you. You took my heart, and I am lost without you.

 

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