Butler was always with me through all my chemos. She stayed at my head cleaning me. Holding my hand with her paw. If I fell she stay at my side on the floor and gently try to pick my hand up in her mouth...as if I was her kitten. She stay until I could get up. Every chemo or surgery I play "Stand By Me" and hug her and kiss her and just lose myself within her being. She was my strength, my warrior, my guardian, my nurse. She wore that quote sewn into her blanket. She wore it with pride I think. I still play "Stand By Me" before every chemo. I still hold her. I am trying Sweet Pea. I am trying. Just as long as you stand by me. Nothing can stop us we are still a packaged deal.

Love,

Mom

This page is dedicated to my daughter's heroics in helping her mom cope. My hero....Butler.

I remember the day I was told my biopsy came back positive. I hung the phone up. Looked down at Butler and decided then and there to show no fear for her sake. I sat in her rocking chair and she followed me. She got on my lap and stretched up putting her front paws around my neck while standing on her back paws. Almost like she knew. She began cleaning my cheek. I hugged her tightly and told her " we will battle on Butler , we will make this. Just stand by Mom that is all I need to do this is you.". I never fell apart. My only concern was for her. We were all we had. I had no choice I had to meet it head on without waiver for my daughter's sake. Little did I know that was the day roles reversed. Butler became the mom in a way. She never faultered in her devotion and concern.

Jules

1st chemo was the worst. I moved bedding into the bathroom. Hanging over the toilet mostly. Butler climb my back and hold onto my neck. Front paws either side of my neck or on one shoulder. She frantically clean me. Lay her chin on my shoulder and wait. If I fell asleep she pat my cheek until I woke and we lay down. She stand above my head and put her chin on my forehead. Night sweats she goes nuts trying to comfort me. She began to lay at my side wrap her paw in my hand. When I had to get up back onto my shoulder she went. Then back to my head until I slept. I would tell her " mom is fine Sweet Pea" trying to calm her. She would have nothing to do with that...she was determined to care for me. Always watching over mom.

Jules

Time went by I began falling more and more. As if my legs were yanked out from under me. Again a biopsy it was positive. During this time Butler had suffered strokes. She lost her sight. I declined any treatments. Asked only help control pain best they could. My loyality was to my daughter. I shut off each room in our home. Took a week per: room so she could acclimate herself in her blindness. Then onto the next room. She caught on very fast. She did not let her disabilities stop her. I made sure no furniture was ever out of place for she knew where everything was as is. Doctors kept calling telling me it is vital I get in. I respectfully told them they have to wait "Butler came 1st". Only then would I be in.

Jules

Butler passed away before she knew my cancer had metastasized. Did my putting off treatmnets cause it? I do not know. I know Butler needed me and that is all that mattered. After she left me I was still falling. I did not go back to onocology I saw no point. My daughter, my reason to live was gone. Then Anthony Eddy came to be. He gave Butler in way back to me. I chose to fight again. Butler have it no other way I am sure. She is again standing by me. Watching over mom. Letting me know she is at my side. Would I do it again? Halt treatments for Butler? In a heartbeat no questions asked.

Humans are not the only ones who suffer from cancer. Please donate or help in anyway you can these brave souls.

Jules and Butler

This page was hard to write. I did it to show how much Butler meant to me. How we grew together. She was my world and still is. I did it show cancer patients can fight and win or at least hang on with dignity. Alot is not on this page that is between my daughter Butler and I but she was at my side the entire way. She still is.

Jules