My heart is shattered once again my little old boy. Each moment we captured together for thirteen wonderful years was lived thoughtlessly, effortlessly and unconditionally. At the end of our time together...5:22pm Monday, I replayed "our beginning" over again...June 10, 1995...I turned the corner, and at the end of walkway there you were...my boy!
I will do the very best I can to memorialize you in a way the makes you proud. I hope you and Ebony found each other. She will take good care of you...you were her big brother when she first came to live with us. Now she can be your big sister and protect you. I love you so much my little prince (Pops, Popper, Poppy, Pappa Lou, Shappa, Dabba Doo, Babba Lou). You knew all your names my little teddy bear.
I miss you son...more than you could ever know. I sure wish I would have had you when you were a baby. I can only imagine how cute you were. That's okay boy, at least I was blessed to have you in my life for the time we shared...June 1995 to June 2008. I truly wish I would have met you when you were a baby. Just look at that sweet little face!
Shabba Lou:Born a dog, died a gentleman.
Shabba leaves behind his mom Carole, his two brothers...pup Buster and kitty Seville and his five sisters...pups Princess, Tina Jane, Maggie Mae, Dezzy Dee and Krystal Kay.
I miss you so much Shabba! It's so empty here without you. My heart is not prepared for this pain. It was hard enough looking at Ebony's beautiful face on the main page...this all seems surreal now that I'm also seeing yours.
You looked at me with eyes of love; you never held a grudge. You thought I was far too wonderful to criticize or judge. You are superior to any human I've ever known.
Grief is not something you get over. It is something you walk through and learn how to manage and live with.
"A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam." For a brief moment its glory and beauty belong to our world. But then it flies again, and though we wish it could have stayed...we feel blessed to have see it!!!" What the caterpillar percieves as the end, to the butterfly is just the beginning.
FEBRUARY 13, 2010, I am sending a dove with a parcel on its wings. Be careful when you open it because it is full of many beautiful things. Inside are a million kisses wrapped up in a million hugs...just to say how much I love you my precious angel. I am sending you all my love. Mom
NOVEMBER 11, 2009 Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
WHERE DID THE TIME GO?
It was like yesterday you came into my life.
You were broken and scared.
You grew to trust and love again...so did I.
You had become my shadow my protector, my little super-trooper.
Even when you became sick you held on.
If I could have had one thing, it would have been more time with you.
I held your little head in my arms till you were gone.
I woke the next day knowing you’d not be walking beside me anymore.
I am lost without you. Where did the time go?
You will be forever in my heart and thoughts. I LOVE YOU!
...our story began on June 10, 1995
Shabba Lou is a full-breed Lhasa Apso. I rescued him from the San Diego Humane Society at 2:30pm just 2 1/2 hours before he was due to be euthanized. The adoption officer told me he was found out in a field, mangled and starving, and that no one wanted him because they said, “he was ugly.”
I hadn’t had a pup since 1991 when my little Peek-A-Poo girl Blossom journeyed on to her eternal resting place. I will never forget the day Shabba chose me as his mom. It was a warm Saturday afternoon, and I had been out shopping most of the day. I stopped at a Soup Plantation restaurant located in a small shopping mall, to eat some soup and salad for lunch. After lunch, I was passing by a small variety store when a “chime mobile” caught my eye. I went inside and saw an elderly man sitting in a chair by the check-out counter, with two Pomeranians...a girl named Peaches and a boy name Poppy. We started chatting and I found out he was the owner of the store. His name was Walter, and he looked to be maybe somewhere in his early to mid seventies. During the entire time of our conversation (nearly two hours) I held each of his babies...taking turns so they would both feel equal attention. As I was holding them, I felt a deep yearning that kept gnawing at my heart. I found out later that day that it was time to give my love to another precious angel...that pure kind of love I hadn’t felt for four years...since Blossom died.
I was joking around with Walter and told him I wanted to take both his babies home with me. He said (and I remember it like it was yesterday), “You know young lady...there are many pets at the humane society that no one else wants. They dump them there to die. People get them at Christmas time when they are cute little puppies, and then get rid of them when they grow up. Maybe a visit out there today would do you some good.” That’s all it took to convince me on June 10, 1995 that I was ready to have someone very special in my life.
Walter and the pups and I visited for another half hour or so, and then I told him I was so deeply affected by my visit, and that I was going straight to the humane society to take a look at pups. He gave me a hug, and told me I might just end up being surprised. I thanked him, kissed Peaches and Poppy good-bye, and on to the humane society I went.
I knew the moment I entered the front door of the place that I would not be leaving alone. Although that day I was not concerned with a specific breed, I’d always thought about having a Lhasa Apso, I was walking around the many pathways of the cells petting every precious angel I passed while I was telling them all that I was sorry I couldn’t save them.
I turned the corner and as I was walking down the walkway, I looked to the end and there he was in his very own private cell. He started barking and howling the moment our eyes met. I was so excited and started fast steppin’ toward him, and as I approached him I sang a little made-up song that included the words Shabba-Dabba-Doo! I knew he was mine...and his name was Shabba Lou Turner. The rest is history.
Thanks to billionaire heiress “Miss” Margaret Cargill, an angel who walked among us, the San Diego Humane Society has been non-kill since 1999. She donated $6.7 million over the course of seven years from 1999 thru 2006 for the expansion and remodel of the humane society. She died at the age of 85 on August 15, 2006. When she died she willed another $10 million dollars to the shelter. Margaret’s legacy and memory will live on, and her donations will continue to protect the lives of thousands of animals from dying needlessly.
From June 1995 to December 1995 Shabba, Jessica (kitty) and I had a great time loving each other.
~ DECEMBER 1995 ~
Shabba was introduced to his rescued little sister Ebony. They bonded immediately...Shabba now had a little sister to mentor (we said good-bye to Ebony on April 21, 2007.) Ebony and Shabba are now together again free of all sickness and pain.
The years flew by, and we all had a wonderful time together. Shabba was healthy and happy, and we loved each other deeply.
Oh Shabba boy, this picture brings back so many memories. You loved the floor in this place. You did what I called a “backward moon-walk”. All I had to say was “mooner Pappa...moon-walk Shabba Lou...mooner opps” about three times, and you would push backwards with your front paws while your back legs were straight out behind you. The wood floors were slick so you could go backwards quite a few feet. I remember one time you amazed me on how far backward you went...I measured 11 feet. You silly boy...you were adorable! You'd just got done moon-walking in this picture. Silly boy.
Although I was thankful I had you, Ebony, Princess and Jessica, this was a sad Christmas for us. I was still unemployed, behind on the rent and bills. I hate to admit it but this is the place we were evicted from in February 1998, due to a room-mate who moved out with no notice. My unemployment checks could not pay for food, rent and bills, and I had no money for a deposit on another place.
March of 1998, we found a “pit of a place” in a bad area of town that was cheap rent, but would allow me to keep all of you pups and not pay an extra pet deposit. I’ve always promised all of you that I would live in a garage before I’d give any of you away. The last place we lived in was one step away from being a run-down garage. Thank God that horrible experience only lasted three weeks. The apartment was infested with roaches and drug addicts. I made a snap decision to get us out of their "quick." We moved into this house (I am still in) on April 9, 1998. Lord willing, this is where we will stay until we move back to Oregon.
2002 - Watcha' doin' mom?
2002 - Shabba was a healthy happy boy
2002- More good memories
Through the years Shabba also enjoyed his “temporary” foster brother and sister puppies I named Tommy (on the right)and Tisha (in the background.) They were approximately eight weeks old when I rescued them from an abusive situation. They lived with us for ten months until I found them a wonderful home where they were able to stay together. We had a very busy year in 2002.
2004 - Chubby Shabba
Below is a recap “by year” on how Shabba and I watched our family grow. I wanted to take a moment, to let you know what a full life of siblings and foster brothers and sisters Shabba experienced.
1995 ~ Shabba joined kitty Jessica and I in June.
REST IN PEACE sweet Jessie kitty. We shared our life for 18 1/2 years. 1981 ~ 1999.
1995 ~ Ebony (labrador) joined us in December.
REST IN PEACE sweet angel. 11/15/95 ~ 04/21/07.
1996 ~ Princess (long-haired Terrier mix) joined us in July.
1996 ~ Seville kitty joined us in August 1996.
1998 ~ Shammy (mix) joined us in 2000. I rescued her from a man who was asaulting her, in May.
REST IN PEACE sweet girl. 00/00/00 ~ 10/19/03.
1999 ~ Krystal (blue-eyed Siberian Husky) joined us in June.
2000 ~ Buster (Chihuahua) joined us in September.
2001 ~ Tina Turner (Pitt/Lab mix)joined us in September.
2002 ~ Dezzy Dee(Corgie mix) joined us in June.
2002 ~ Maggie (Chow/Golden Retriever mix) joined us in August.
June 30 2008 ~ I now have six dogs Tina Jane, Maggie Mae, Krystal Kay, Buster, Dezzy Dee and Princess, and my cat-boy Seville who are all still here with me.
2004 - My sweet Lhapsa Apso
2004 - I love you
Saturday, February 28, 2009, 9:23pm
I am so excited!!!!! I was sitting here going through my pictures and came across this pic of Shabba that I didn't know I had. My heart's racing...I am so happy. I love you Shabba Lou...forever!!! Luv, momma.
Fast-forward to 2006.
~ JUNE 1996 ~
Shabba was introduced to another little sister who I named Princess, and I am sure she misses him terribly. They bonded quickly, and everything fell into place...I felt like I was in heaven. I bet Shabba loved being the only man in the house. He was our little prince with a big heart of gold.
~ OCTOBER 1996 ~
Shabba jumped off my bed, which sat fairly high, and he ruptured two lower discs in his back. It took him six months to be able to walk on his own again. He was temporarily paralyzed from the fall so during his recuperation he was completely dependent on me, and it was my pleasure to accommodate his every need.
~ MAY 1997 ~
I found a beautiful Orange Tabby kitty with the most gorgeous green eyes. He was stuck up underneath the frame of a Cadillac Seville. I named him Seville. The “kids” welcomed Seville into our home with open paws. Shabba always had an aloof personality, so he didn’t mind at all having another guy in the house. Seville misses his brother.
Life was great! I had four wonderful companions that loved me, and I loved them with all my heart...we were in perfect harmony.
Then, it all came crashing down. I’d lived in this same apartment for ten years. The building was sold, and the new owner sent letters to all the tenants in August telling them they had thirty days to either get rid of their pets or move. We ended up moving into a house with a roommate who decided (with no notice) to move out right before Christmas 1997. I was left holding the bag. I couldn’t pay the rent there, and did not have a deposit to move. I’d gone back to work, but was not making much money. I then moved again, only into a “not so good" neighborhood.
The three weeks I lived at this place I found another sweet girl who I named Shammy. We said good-bye to our little old girl in 2002. She was very old when I found her, but she was also welcomed with opened paws, and we loved her with all our hearts. Anyway, I found this house that I’ve rented since April 9, 1998. We’d finally found a place we could be safe and secure, and be with each other. As the years passed by we went through some tough times, but we made it...together.
~ DECEMBER 19, 2006 ~ I took you to the doctor because you'd started to occasionally cough. I suspected congestive heart failure due to your age. Doctor Guajardo took x-rays and blood samples. We looked at the x-rays right away, they showed that there was fluid around your heart and a little bit in your lungs. The doctor suspected the same as I did, so to be proactive he prescribed Enalapril 2.5mg for your heart and Lasix 50mg to reduce the fluid build up.
~ January 13, 2007, ~ The test results came back, and my worst fear had come true...it was confirmed that you were in the very early stages of congestive heart failure. My heart sunk and I felt sick to my stomach...I felt numb...I didn't feel like I could take another loss so soon after Ebony. I cried so hard for so long that day, but I knew I had to get a grip and focus your health.
Doctor Guajardo told me he wanted me to stay positive, but that there was a possibility that you might not be here with me much longer...maybe not even until Christmas. Another angel I was blessed with named Blossom died in 1991 at 18 years old, and she also died from congestive heart failure. She only lived another nine months after she was diagnosed. I’d planted her "nine-month" survival time in my mind, but prayed and I thought maybe, just maybe I’d be blessed to have you longer than that, and we would be able to share Christmas 2007 together. Thank you so much Shabba for being such a little "super trooper"...we did it boy...we spent another Christams together! I knew it would be our last one.
July 1, 2007 doctor appointment. Your liver and kidney functions were elevated, which is common with the meds you were taking. You were still eating well, and were still very active. Thank God you reacted good to the meds, and we were able to spend another holiday together. I am so proud of you my sweet boy...thank you so much for staying with me through Christmas,
February 16, 2008 doctor appointment. Your liver and kidney functions were elevated fairly high (enough to be concerned) so we had to cut the meds you were taking in half.
March 4, 2008 10:00pm I was laying in bed with all my pups. Tina all of a sudden jumped up and looked at Shabba, and then started sniffing him. She jumped down on the floor and then Dezzy did the same thing. I called Shabba's name and he didn't respond. I reached over to pick him up and he was limp. I was devasted...I didn't know what was wrong...I cried so hard I could barely breathe. I thought I was mentally prepared to say good-bye to Shabba, but I was so wrong...I was not even near ready. We do not know what it feels like until it happens...until they are gone.
Anyway, since he was tired, blind and dealing with his congestive heart failure I told him I would let him go, if it was his time to go. He'd fought so hard this past 14 months, and I just couldn't put him through any more. I just kept telling him it was okay. He didn't seem to be in any pain...it was like he was sleeping. I layed him right beside me in bed, and started rubbing his back and giving him extra love. I hardly slept the rest of the night. I drifted off for a few moments every once in a while. When I woke up in the morning, Shabba was much better. I took him to the doctor, and he said Shabba was a bit dehydrated, but he seemed fine. They kept him at the clinic and put him on IV's. When I picked him up that evening, he was back to himself.
May 10, 2008 doctor appointment. Shabba's kidney and liver functions were not very good. The doctor changed his meds from once each day to cutting the initial dose in half, and giving the pills to him in the morning and evening. Doctor Guajardo thought this might be easier on his organs. We made the next follow-up appointment for July 9th.
Around the second week of June Shabba started becoming more lethargic, and was sleeping all the time. He'd also losing a bit of weight, although he seemed to be eating okay while I was around. He went downhill so fast...(I'm so sorry Shabba). I could tell he was changing...he was finally losing his battle against congestive heart failure.
Saturday June 28th Shabba, started acting very different. Alhough he was extremely lethargic by now, he was acting very anxious. He was so restless, and kept getting up every few minutes to go lay down in a different spot. He paced the floor a few times, and kept walking in circles. Around 4:00 he was walking across the living room floor, and I his back legs gave out on him. That's when I knew for something was going terribly wrong. I tucked him into bed with me that night, and held him close to me all night long. He didn't move at all during the night. Although I was in complete denial, I knew the end was very near.
Sunday June 29th I got up at 7:30am, and he was much worse. He just layed there hardly moving at all. I tried to feed him some soft dog food, and he turned his face away. I was beginning to panic...I new this meant the worst because Shabba loved his soft dog food. I tried feeding him some special made food several times. I don't feed my pets people food, but at this point all I wanted was for him to eat. I made ground hamburger and rice, baked chicken, hotdogs, and even tried feeding him a piece of cheese. Nothing worked. I decided to give him a nice warm bath and massage, to try and comfort him. We layed down together at around 9:30am, and layed in each other's arms for almost four hours. He was finally losing his battle...my brave little boy. I got some water to give him and he even turned his nose up at that. I dripped water into his mouth with a spoon all day, to keep him hydrated. He hadn't gone pee or poop since early Saturday afternoon, which was another poor sign. These were the signs I dreaded seeing...I knew what all this meant. These are the signs the doctor told me to watch for. He told me on May 10th that if I saw any of these signs, bring Shabba back into the clinic.
June 30, 8:00am I took my boy to the doctor and told him about your symtoms, and that I wanted him to try and make you feel better. He told me they would immediately start IV's, and when I came back to pick him up we would discuss the situation further.
I felt like I was re-living the nightmare I'd gone through with Ebony in April of 2007. I guess it's human nature to slip quickly into denial...and I did. I had to go to work that day, and all day I kept battling my true feelings...hoping the doctor would have good news. At the same time I knew deep down inside that it was going to be our good-bye. I kept telling myself all day long that this was not really happening...it wasn't possible...this just couldn't happen again so soon.
July 3rd - I felt like I was losing Shabba all over again when I had to call the creamatorium and make the arrangement to pick up his precious little body from the clinic. Then I had to pull myself back together again, to call the clinic back and cancel his next regular check-up, which was scheduled for July 9th. I also called the humane society to inform them they didn't need to send notification to re-new his license. This was another very difficult day...this feels surreal.
I am ripped up inside my sweet boy...I have no idea right now how I am going to be able to move through each day. I've frequently mixed up the days and called Saturday Wednesday and Wednesday Saturday...the days...the times...they are all jumbled up right now. Everything's changed again. Thank God I have two clippings of your soft hair. I held them close to my heart tonight while I cried an ocean of tears. My little prince...I would love a thousand times more, to feel this kind of love again.
Thank you Shabba for staying by my side through all the happy times, and the tough times too for the past 13 years. You were with me through it all sweet boy...you were such a good strong boy my little "super trooper." I love you so. I just can't write anymore right now...the tears...the pain...overwhelming!
My handsome boy 04-13-08
My angel...my brave little boy...my "super trooper" Shabba Lou.
I wonder what you were thnking.
What we once enjoyed we will never lose, and all we love deeply becomes a part of us. Death does not end a relationship...it only changes it.
~ PAW PRINTS IN MY HEART
My lap is too too empty, and cold
the soft resting head no longer there to warm it.
No comfort to be found, no furry body to stroke
my quiet companion gone....
My heart is broken, there are no other words to write it -
this empty ache, this empty space
loving always, never judging...
My friend Shabba has left...
...and my hands, arms, all helpless to stop it.
Little one, fly free, where the fields are green
and filled with friends gone before.
I will carry you always, your pawprints ever beating,
running joyously to greet me whenever I call
as your memory stirs in my heart...
August 17, 2008 - Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. I haven't mastered how to dance in the rain yet.
October 12, 2008 - I love you sweet boy, and I miss you no less.
December 18, 2008 - Shabba Lou my little teddy bear. I am missing you and Ebony both so much...my heart is aching son, our memories are flooding through my mind...I can hear your cute little "duck quack" bark...I can feel your soft fur...I can smell that baby powder fresh smell of you on that last day we spent together in each others arms. My heart is broken sweet boy. I love you Shabba...oh I love you so much my super trooper. It's still hard for me to believe that all those years went by "just like that." You are deep in my heart sweety, and this holiday season is especially rough now with you and Ebony both gone. Thank you for chewing the toe of your christmas sock baby. I never realized how much your dried slobber would mean to me until I got your sock out to hang it up. Our memories brought both sad tears of loneliness and sweet tears of joy streaming down my face. I love you with all my heart and soul. Lovingly, and with so much honor and respect, mommy.
...for taking the time to visit Shabba. It means so much to me when I know someone else is able to know him through me. You keep reminding me that I am not alone in my loss...that I have support....and that you care.
I would be honored if you would stop by and visit Shabba's sisters and brothers.
You may click on the pictures below to go directly to their Memorials.
~ ♥ Ebony 1995 - April 21, 2007
~ ♥ Maggie Mae 2001 - August 11, 2009
~ ♥ Seville 1996 - April 2, 2010
~ ♥ Buster 1996 - April 24 2010
Please sign the guestbook for Shabba Lou by clicking here