My dear boy Shabba Lou. What a long year I've had without you. It is still surreal that you are no longer here. Do we ever heal? I miss you more than ever son, and I know the love I have for you will continue to grow as the years pass by. I celebrate your life...I mourn your death. Some things will never change. I pray that you are somewhere out there watching over me...waiting for me. I want to be where you are. The unconditional love we shared was amazing...a love that will never fade.
You will always be my treasured gift, and will remain in my heart forever and ever. Nothing can ever erase the impact you made in my life (even after) or the memory you will always be. Thank you so much for giving your life to me, and allowing me to be a part of yours. I will cherish you and hold you in “your” special place in my heart for eternity.
TIME...what an odd thing. It zooms by so fast...while at the same time it's standing still. Sometimes I panic when it goes by so quickly...other times I feel comfort when it goes by so slow. All I know is that each step is one step closer to you. EMOTIONS...well, what can I say? It's been a rollercoaster...up and down...fast...then slow. I feel like I'm riding on waves of the ocean.
Life changes so quickly. Princess is completely blind now, and almost 14 years old. Buster not only has Pacreatitus...but now his kidney enzymes are elvated quite high. I found out a week ago. The doctor said he is not close to kindney failure yet, but he told me to be prepared. I knew what that meant, and although I know that no matter how prepared I think I'll be, nothing will change the heartache's that go along with saying goodby to my precious angels. Buster is around 14 (the doctor says). I suppose it won't be a whole lot longer until you greet your brother. Your other brother and sisters are doing well.
Shabba, today I woke up and thought of you...I had breakfast and thought of you...I went to work and thought of you...I went to lunch and thought of you...I went shopping and thought of you...I returned home in the evening and thought of you..I will go to bed and think of you. No matter where I go, no matter what I do, you are always in my thoughts. Even though we can't be together right now, I know you are still with me...watching over me night and day. Thoughts of you will be drifting through my mind... another day spent without you in my life. That's why the place where my smile comes from is empty, and no matter how hard I try I cannot stop tears that say, “I miss you." I will remember you until my last breath. You mean so much to me Shabba...more than words could ever truly display. The life that we knew together is now only a memory. I remember your eyes and your smile, and I'll remember the beauty of your little pug-nose face forever. What a beautiful boy you are! Oh I ache so deeply Shabba just to hold you in my arms agin...my sweet little boy. You really were such a soft-hearted fellow. You were a very special boy. You will always be an important part of my life.
Are you taking good care of your big sissy Ebony? I know you're a lot smaller than her...but you were always such a super-trooper. I bet you're with her every step she takes.
I remember 06/29/08...the day of this picture...our last full day together...it seems like it was yesterday. My heart ached when I held your tired little body so close...and knew the end was near. My heart aches thinking about how I felt on June 30th. I couldn't take the day off work...your last day. You were at the clinic all day, and I asked the doctor to just make you feel better. I wanted you to feel as good as possible on your last day son. You were at peace when I arrived at the clinic after work. I could tell you were in no pain. They took such good care of you that day, and so many years before.
I read a saying that is so true. (Love is stronger than death. Passion is more fierce than than the grave. There is no formula for generating the authentic warmth of love. It cannot be copied. You cannot talk yourself into it or rouse it by straining at the emotions. The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.) Shabba, in 1995, you taught me to love again.
When the sea is rough and nothing seems possible; our love will always find a way...just like it did when you were here. Where there is love...distance doesn't matter. We will always be together.
Love's eternity shines so bright. Hear the music of Love Eternal.
All our young lifes we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We dance to a song of love, hope and heartbreak. All the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect who might be searching for us. Thank you for rescuing me Shabba Lou. Keep watching and waiting Poppy...
I remember the day I received you into my life.
I remember when our bonding began.
I remember your devotion and
I remember the joy of our friendship.
I remember all the best times we shared.
I remember both the joy and sadness of all the days passed.
I remember the pain of our love, in losing you.
I remember the pain of letting go.
I remember every teardrop shed.
I remember the “worst time”… when I said good-bye … my precious angel.
I remember how special you “are”.
Rest peacefully my little man.
AS LIFE GOES ON WITHOUT YOU
Remembering you is easy
I do it everyday,
But the emptiness I feel
Never goes away.
As life goes on without you
And days turn into years,
There`s still this awful emptiness
And still so many tears.
No one sees a broken heart
That hides behind a smile,
No one knows the pain
That's with me all the while.
Your smile has gone forever,
You I cannot touch,
But I’ll never lose the memory
Of the angel I love so much.
Softly the leaves of memories fall,
gently I gather and treasure them all.
You are so dearly loved...you are so sadly...so deeply missed! Wait for me boy. God could not have blessed me with you...and not allow me to rejoin you for eternity.
A Rose for you sweet angel....
A picture lays on the table,
As color begins to fade away.
Memories of us are still fresh,
As if we just took it today.
Best friends forever,
Together till the end.
We were there for each other,
My sorrows you would mend.
We were together many years,
Time flew so fast.
Despite the changes in surroundings,
Our friendship had no contrast.
We were joined at the hips,
All the people would say.
It broke my heart
To see you go away
There is no place that far,
To keep me from where you are.
We'll be together again,
Just like...remember when.
DROP A PEBBLE IN THE WATER
Drop a pebble in the water: just a splash, and it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,
Spreading, spreading from the center, flowing on out to the sea.
...And there is no way of telling where the end is going to be.
Drop a pebble in the water: in a minute you forget,
But there's little waves a-flowing, and there's ripples circling yet,
And those little waves a-flowing to a great big wave have grown;
You've disturbed a mighty river just by dropping in a stone.
There's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on.
They keep spreading, spreading, spreading from the center as they go,
And there is no way to stop them, once you've started them to flow.
You were my rock...ou are my pebble in the water son!
The falling rain dissolves into mist,
And the thunder begins to die.
As the sporadic lightning fades,
An arch of color pours from the sky.
Rainbows appear after mighty storms,
When things look their worst.
Just when the sky is darkest gray,
Out of Heaven does a rainbow burst.
God first sent the rainbow to Noah,
As a sign that His word is true.
The rainbow's eternal message,
Still speaks to me and you.
The rainbow is a sign of God's promise,
That He will guide us through any storm.
That He will ease all our troubles,
No matter what their form.
When you feel battered by life's storms...
And you are filled with doubt and dismay,
Just remember God's rainbow is coming.
OLD DOG IN A LOCKET
Old dog in a locket,
That lays next to my heart;
I will always love you,
As I did right from the start.
You were right beside me,
Through the darkest of my days;
It was your kind and gentle nature,
That made me want to stay.
Now I hold you in my arms,
Your breath still warm against my hand;
Our hearts still beat together,
And I wonder if you understand.
Through the hours that I held you,
Before the light did leave your soul;
I knew a way to keep you,
Forever in my hold.
I snipped the hair from around your eyes,
So I would always see;
The beauty that surrounds me,
Even in times of need.
I snipped the hair from around your ears,
So I would always hear;
Music in the distance,
To quiet any fears.
I snipped the hair from across your back,
To bring me strength in time of need;
And the power of your essence,
Would always be with me.
I snipped the hair from around your heart,
That beat in time with mine;
So I would know that love would find me,
At some distant time.
And so, your life slipped out of mine,
On a quiet Spring-like day;
But I knew that a part of you,
Was always here to stay.
Old dog in a locket,
That lays next to my heart;
I will always love you,
Even though we had to part.
author ~ Heidi Stamm
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