Dear Annie tomorrow (August 20, 2009) will mark the one year date, of the shock of your sudden illness, and my devestating heartwrenching loss of you. I had to make that awful decision last year to let you have eternal sleep over you having to endure the physical suffering of your disease.
When I picked up your ashes and looked at them I fell apart with grief. It just couldn't be you in that little plastic bag...gone forever.
For seven weeks I was on the internet daily reading and reading and re-reading articles on your disease in the hope of reassuring myself that I had made the right decision. I so missed you. I cried more tears in that time than I have in any decade of my adult life.
Deep sadness has not left me. A piece of my heart is gone. I adopted you when you were 5 years and 9 months old, and lost you exactly 5 years and 9 months later.
When I finally was able to pack away your things, your pink bed, carrier, and clothes, I made a promise to you. I promised that one day in a couple of years in your honor I would adopt another little female maltese who needed a home as you did.
Unexpectedly, three months later, I recieved an email about a one year old female maltese who had some health issues and needed a home. I wasn't sure I was ready...but I was sure the little female maltese was ready for a loving home.
The weekend before Thanksgiving Day, I flew to New Orleans and picked her up. My dear little Annie Cotton Candy when I lost you in August I felt such tearful great sorrow, and 3 months later when I took Daisy in my arms at the New Orleans airport I felt such tearful joy. It was a bittersweet moment. She sleeps in the exact spot next to me that you slept in. I so wish you were here with us. You would love Daisy.
Your favorite spot in the daytime was sleeping next to Ernie by our fireplace and now your picture and ashes are on the ledge of our fireplace. You are here with all of us.
One of my sweetest memories of you is the one of you running around on the beach. You were sooo happy. That memory gives me comfort and great joy.