LOST IN THOUGHT
I had only known that she was going to leave me, maybe I could have been a little bit prepared. But we never know when the time will come. Our Goddess in heaven must have needed a good strong girl who was afraid of nothing or anyone. She is there to help her . She can't ask for anyone stronger in spirit and body than you. And so loyal..she is loving that.( She was my perfect helpmate. From navigating the truck trips to lying on my feet to warm them....you were the best.) We never know when that special friend will come into our life. I've been blessed more than I could have imagined by having such a fine dog as Fayeroe is. Give your girl/boy an extra hug today. We never know when the last day may come I am so thankful that I have the full body photograph of you. It is the only full shot I have of you....We were working so hard on the yard then. Trying to get it back from being neglected for 20 years.
What a beautiful animal you were. So strong and so sweet. Devoted to me as I was devoted to you. Your love was consistent and true.....I miss you so. I took this photo in the yard which is where you loved to be....me working on the gardens and you close by.
One day I thought I heard your little talking voice and I turned around and you were gone. You had a certain little hum that you made now and again. I loved your voice.
I also liked hearing you when you thought our safety might be compromised. I knew that I was safe with you. I miss that now..I am lost.
Easter Sunday. Fayedy, last night when I went to bed (this morning at 2:00 a.m.) I thought about you and how secure I felt because you loved me. My heart was safe with you and it was beginning to soften to the world around me. My security was your first priority. I laid there and realized that we are vulnerable now with you gone. I was scared.
Fayedy.....you are the best girl and I will see you at The Bridge someday. Mom
March 28, 2009........It is Bella's birthday today! Your favourite niece is turning 10. Before we know it she will be in junior high. She misses you so much.
I made pendants for her birthday. I can't believe she is old enough to want a necklace to wear to school. I know what your gift would be..the kissing game....she was so tiny when you came to live with us. You would try to kiss her face and she would hide her head down in the pillows and the fun was on! She would be giggling and your little tail would be wagging your butt while you burrowed your head and tried to get her face! She talks about that.
Bella Anne also talks about the time she sprained her ankle (she was 5) and I soaked her foot in warm water. All at once you went over and started drinking out of the pan she had foot in! Oh, how we laughed and laughed! She loves telling someone that didn't get to meet you that you were her nurse. She lived with us then and you always gave up your seat in the truck for her. You sure guarded your girls then.
I remember the night that my undercover work was blown and we I had to go to a safe house. Fayeroe let me know that the sleaze bags that were having the hog dog rodeo would be mincemeat if only I would let her get them. Later when the man came after me eithershe heard him or smelled him and the police got to us in time. The police said that they felt so much better about my living alone when they saw her.She tried to get one of the bicycle officers and if the truth be known, I don't think she had seen anyone on a bicycle before. :-)
I love you, Fayedy
Christmas, 2012..You will be gone from me 4 years in February. I can hardly stand to think about it.
Bella Anne is 13 now and has a boy friend. I am making her 10 bangles for Christmas. She loves bracelets. She is also getting some clothes from the 70s and 80s. That is the fad now. I got King a Civil War Union Soldier uniform for his gift. He is going to freak! Stella gets binoculars and a bird book. Josh gets a tee-shirts that says he is a slave to the guinea pigs and Colleen is getting two years to Texas Monthly and one year to Real Simple. I remember how you loved the Christmas presents under the tree. Connie getting a subscription to Real Simple and a casserole dish to the antique dinnerware that I gave her last year. Of course it wouldn't be Christmas without jewelry for Connie. Lupe isn't getting anything!
April 06, 2009
I have been outside watering the flowers on your grave. It has been so windy and all of the plants were desperate for water. You never got one creature when you were outside. I admired that because I knew that you understood that all our creatures were important.
Lita has been going with me to run errands and she lies on the dashboard. I heard her barking at someone while I was in the library. She is so tough.....all 13 pounds of her.
I feel as if you've been gone a lifetime. I can hardly look at your photographs without bursting into tears...I miss you so much.
I miss everything about you tonight.
May 2, 2009........Fayedy, your flower blanket has filled out and is looking pretty now. The potato plant is huge. I planted that so you will have your favourite food at The Bridge. I'll take photos today and post them for our friends here.
June 13, 2009...Faye, a vine came up by your grave. It has big leaves and the blooms are yellow. I kept watching it...watering it..made a thing for it to vine on. Three days ago I figured out what it is! It is a cucumber vine...did you plant it? You know that I love cucumbers almost more than any other vegetable! I've had two really nice ones...they are pickling cukes so they aren't getting too big. Thank you, sweet girl.
The flowers have filled your blanket in very nicely. The glads haven't bloomed yet but that will probably happen in July. The morning glories have gone berserk! All the color looks just like you!!! Your heart was full of every color in the world.
August 24,2009.....the heat has taken everything from your blanket garden except the morning glories and the sweet potato plants. The spider plants are under there somewhere. I guess they are still alive. I'm so sorry. I wanted to to be beautiful for you