Mickey's first day in cart
The week started out normal like any other week. Monday we were outside walking around and playing, Tuesday Mickey was in his wheel chair and we went for a short walk. I had just bought him a hound about stroller for the winter an early Christmas present we didnt get to use cause I never finished putting it together. I took pictures of Mickey Tuesday he was being such a ham in his cart. I bought the stroller for him so we could take longer walks in the cart he could only go a little bit than he'd get tired. Tuesday night we had hamburger gravy for dinner.
Mickey had some dierreah and a tender belly but otherwise acted happy didnt seem distressed, I never gave it a thought because we all get upset bellies.
I ran to town after work cause we had run out of puppy pads, and picked up burgers for dinner. Got home to Mickey and he ate 1 and 3/4 of his two burgers and didnt want anymore. His belly was still tend when I tried to express his bladder but I thought it was from the dierreah. He acted happy and pretty much ok, drank good. Wasn't real active but again I didnt think anything of it.
Friday 11/5/10 Now known as the worst day of my entire life
I got done with work and entertained the idea of running to town to get dinner for me and Mickey and something pulled me to get home to my boy. I got home and called him and he didnt stir he had been I think going a little deaf he usually didnt wake up until Momma was home for a little bit. Didnt think much of it. Went to get him and I knew this was it. He picked his head up and acknowledged me than wanted to go right back to bed. So, I got him some water and went in the living room thinking what do I do should I call the vet and take him in, where can I get the money to do. After a little bit I went to him and brought him in the living room with me, he drank water great but refused food. I called my grandmother and told her I thought Mickey was dying. Her and my mom came over and Mickey got more responsive. They talked to him and told him it was ok to close his eyes and go to sleep if he needed to he was tired. They said it wouldnt do any good to take him to the vet it was his time and I shouldnt want to add extra stress on him, a choice I will regret the rest of my life not trying to save him if I in fact could have.
I couldnt get him to urinate very much and his belly was so tender. My mother and grandmother had left and Mickey would whimper but not really cry. I would leave him for a few minutes cause I didnt want him to see me so upset to upset him more. I knew in my heart he was leaving me and I couldnt take it.
Everytime I would leave the room for a few minutes Mickey would whimper for me. I cuddled him, brushed his hair and talked to him I told him how much I loved him and how he was the best boy momma ever had. I told him if he had to leave me it was ok to go ahead and go, I would miss him but I understood. I went to the kitchen to have a cigarette cause I never smoked in the same room he was in. I prayed to God if you are taking him please take him dont make my boy suffer. Within a couple hours Mickey refused his water and he stopped whimpering for me after I'd leave the room. I watched as his spirit left his body and then watched as his body finally left this world. The life never left his eyes even in death, he had so much life in his eyes. I'll never know the reason why my boy had to leave me or what took him from me. I will always feel that I failed him in some way or that I could have and should have saved him. I try to tell myself that I couldnt have and that he had the best life a boy could have but it doesnt help the pain.
For about a month prior to Mickeys passing I had this reoccuring dream about him running in a green meadow I wasn't there with him but I could see him just running. I told a co-worker about this dream the week Mickey had passed, I never imagined it was a premonition of what was to come.
I love Mickey more than life and I miss him so very much every single day. He was the best part of me, we will be togeather again. I just know it.