minutes before getting her wings
Today was my first day without you, I broke down at work and hid in the bathroom and had a panick attack. I cried coming home from work, and I had to stop myself several times from saying hurry up and go home early to make sure Machita is ok, then it would hit me like a ton of bricks, Chita is not at home anymore, she is with her brother at the Rainbow bridge. The drive home was filled with intense tears and guilt of did I do the right thing and put you to sleep and out of your misery, just big sobs of sadness overwhelmed me. Then when I drove up to the gate it was even harder because my routine was open the gate leave the car running, walk up to the house calling your name softly tap on the front door, open it find your nose poking out then ask do you want to go for a ride and then open the door and you would fly out of the house running to the car, and we then went for a ride around the block with you leaning out the rear window. So today it was difficult to open the gate get back into the car and come into the yard shut the gate pull the car into the garage walk to the back patio and walk into an empty house, without you meeting at the door, excited, happy and jumping and giving me many kisses and you added a little mini howl to it. My rear passenger window still has your last drops of drool on it and scratch marks inside the window tint and insulation of the door, I did not realize you left those there when you were riding in the car.
All my friend have been so supportive and understanding, I told each one of them I think Machita picked the most beautiful time to go to heaven and be with Jesus on Easter, how incrediable is that?
Just now I swear heard you shake your coller again, I told my dad about this and he said I was just hearing things, I do not believe that, because when your brother Flapper left, I seen him walk by the bathroom and then seen him laying on the couch and then walk by the bathroom again.
My fathead, my mamagirl, my chits, my chita and my Machita, today I missed you so intensely it was such a emotional day without you following me around and bumping into me when I stopped, or me stepping on you not knowing you were behind me. this empty house is so deadly quite I can't even wash the comforter on the couch or move the big pillow cause this was your last place to lay.
Rest my mama girl, I miss you and love you tons. Mommie