The beginning of every day is so hard without you. There's no one trying to steal my makeup brushes or my earrings on the dresser. There's no one trying to "kill" the water hitting the shower curtain when I'm showering. There's no one trying to stick a huge white paw into my cereal bowl. And worst of all, there's no one to jump on my stomach waking me up and saying good morning at 4:30AM.
I never realized just how much I loved all the goofball things you did until I didn't have them anymore. There's not as many laughs and funny moments without you - the rest of the gang is so quiet and calm. I never realized that they were so quiet until you were gone. They're all adjusting although Bella still checks all the rooms every day looking for you. They all refused to eat for a couple of days and I started getting really worried about Wylie, Jinx, and Annie. They're doing better now although Jinx still doesn't like Bella much. :)
Did you whisper in their ears to stop with the hunger strike so they wouldn't get sick, too? If you did, thanks, Tobalish, for watching over them.
I love you baby kitty and wish I could turn back time so that I could get one of your famous "Toby kisses" just one more time. I miss you so much.
Hope you don't mind but I'm looking at getting a Maine Coon kitten to help us with the empty spot you used to fill. I could never replace my best furry friend in this lifetime but there's always room in my heart for another, especially one that just might be funny and loveable like you were. Bella needs a buddy, a kitten she can grow up with because Wylie, Jinx, and Annie aren't interested in running and playing like you were.
I know you're watching over us all and I don't want you to think you're being replaced because, Tobalish, you will always, always be the #1 furkid in my heart.
I was able to watch the video of you and Bella playing today without dissolving into tears of pain. I laughed so hard that day, little one, and I treasure the memory of all the times you brought joy and laughter into our days. I still cry every day because I miss you so much, but I know that soon the tears will give way to smiles when I remember how special you were.
Help me find the kitten that will help heal our hearts. I know you'll want a say in it and I know that you'll find a way to let me know. I'd rather have you back but for now, I'll find a baby that will help us all heal.
Love you, Toby,
Exacty 2 weeks ago, 4/13/2012 at 12:55PM, we said our final good-byes. The last 2 weeks have been so hard without you. My only comfort is that you're not in pain or feeling sick any longer. I miss you so much that thinking about you still brings tears. It'll be like this for a long time to come.
Another big comfort is the wonderful people who have sent their condolences in your guestbook. They understand my pain and knowing that I'm not alone really helps and I'm so appreciative that they've taken the time to send their thoughts and prayers.
I've learned a couple of big lessons from losing you. I assumed we'd have many more years together and didn't take the time to appreciate you like I should have. I guess you never really know what you have until it's gone. Another is making sure I know even the smallest of symptoms that would tell me when the other kitties might be sick. I make sure that before I go to bed and before I leave for work that I check everyone. If I don't see one of them for a few hours, I go looking to make sure they're ok. Take nothing for granted and protect what you have for it could be taken from you in an instant.
I keep thinking about all that you gave me, asking so little in return. Thank you, Tobalicious, for 5 1/2 years of laughter, joy, and love.
Love you and miss you,
It's cold and rainy today, just the kind of day where you'd snuggle on my lap while I sat here working. I thought I saw you out of the corner of my eye this morning and automatically called your name. I immediately felt silly because you're not here and I know that. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you and cry because I miss you so much. I remember all the things about you that made me laugh and smile, the things that mean so much. Someday I hope I can remember all the time without my heart breaking all over again. But today is another one of those days and my heart is heavy.